MANIFEST

My husband and I had a quick getaway last week and the best part for me was the 7 hours of driving. We had uninterrupted conversations about our dreams and goals and where we want to see our careers go. Those conversations get us into alignment and give me LIFE!! We are always on the same page when it comes to wanting one another to thrive in every way possible, but it helps to actually hear what the other person desires. It gives you some perspective to support him/her in going after it! When was the last time you and your spouse got to do this? It had been a minute for us.

We talked about MANIFESTING (focusing on and attracting what you want in your life). Personally, the idea is a little too “new age” for me. In my opinion, no amount of meditation and “putting it out into the universe” has the same effect as laser focus and hustle!! Rather than trying to attract what I want, I prefer to take it by the balls with action! Still, you need to have a vision to make your plans successful. Maybe that is where the “manifesting” really comes into play.

After all, a goal without a plan is just a wish.

SELF CHALLENGE: What is your vision for YOUR future? If you don’t know, you better sit your ass down and think about it. If time and money were no option (spoiler alert: that’s NOT what’s holding you back), what does your dream job/hobby/startup company/non-profit look like? What skills do you have that are unique to you? What comes easy to you that you enjoy doing? THAT is purpose, and that is what you need to be chasing.

MARRIAGE CHALLENGE: Carve out some time to talk with your spouse about your vision and find out what his/her vision is. How can you support one another in getting there? This requires at least a date night, preferably a road trip!

If the word MANIFEST feels weird to you, try replacing it with VISION. Make yourself a road map for where you want to go and what you need to get there. Then take the first step.

#goals #hopes #dreams #purpose #manifest #hustle #vision #marriage #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #drive #passion #liveyourbestlife #growth #growthmindset #personaldevelopment #leadership #selfactualization #empowerment #girlboss #motherhood #parenting #mindfulness #selfawareness

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💕LOVE STORY 💕

Patrick’s Senior Prom (Our First Date): May 2000

Everyone loves a good love story, right? 🥰 Here’s mine in a nutshell…

I was only 15 when I met my husband and if you would have told me then that I would end up married to that awkward, skinny, 17-year-old boy I would never have believed it! Needless to say, it was not love at first sight. And that ended up being the secret to our success.

My best friend, Krystal, brokered the deal for me to be his prom date in Y2K. She reminded me recently that I made her tell him NOT to expect any physical contact on this date. I was always good at managing expectations. 😆

Although there were no fireworks on that date, the fact that we weren’t trying to impress one another is what eventually made us click. Looking back, I’ve never been more unapologetically myself with anyone than I was with that boy. I didn’t care about impressing him and we proceeded to date other people and give each other dating advice in the years that followed. In hindsight, it was a lot of TMI if I’d known I would marry this dude. 🤐

For me, the turning point happened when I went on a family vacation. I had a boyfriend back home who I didn’t miss at all, and I was calling my best friend, Patrick, every day while I was gone. I knew what I had to do when I got home….and I was pretty sure he had been patiently waiting for me to arrive at this conclusion on my own. 💑

There was a lot that happened in the years that followed…to save time, you can refer to the plot of The Notebook. We loved each other fiercely and we believed in one another fiercely. Those early years were SO difficult. It’s hard to pursue your own dreams and fulfill the needs of someone else at the same time. Maybe impossible. Choosing to grow together, rather than as individuals was our biggest struggle. 🌳

The fact that we have persisted for almost 20 years is a testament to our mutual stubbornness and the grace of God. Patrick told me yesterday that his favorite thing about me is my grit. When I decide to do something, come hell or high water, I won’t give up. Similarly, my favorite thing about Patrick is that he will do absolutely anything to be successful. He works so hard to be proficient at whatever he does and he works hard at being a good husband and father. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

We were married 10 years ago and learned how to navigate adulthood, careers, and parenting together. We are still unapologetically ourselves. We can’t be any other way because we showed all of our cards early on. We know the worst about each other but choose to believe the best – day after day. We respect each other and we are still best friends after all these years. We are so different from those awkward, superficial teens setup for a prom date, but we choose one another every day, year after year. 👰🏻🤵🏻

Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment. The best marriages involve 2 people in competition to out-serve one another. They require mutual respect, admiration, and a determination to be the best partner you can be. It’s not a natural response. It’s a choice. And it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. 💞

The Grass is Greener Where You Water It

🌱The Grass is Greener Where You Water It 🌦

We all know the agony of comparison – in friendships, in parenting, and in our marriages. Social media has multiplied this feeling exponentially. Everyone else’s marriage looks easy breezy on Facebook, so why don’t I have that? 📸

The truth is, ALL of our relationships have their challenges. Chances are, if you could see the secret struggles of the relationships behind the picture perfect filters, you’d probably RUN back to your spouse and be grateful for the small problems you are faced with in comparison. 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

All of our relationships have seasons that are hard. We are individuals driven to seek our own happiness, yet relationships require the selflessness to put someone else’s needs above you own. It’s unnatural to us, which is why we have to be intentional in connecting with one another. 💑

Think about what first attracted you to your spouse. Of all the people in the world, you CHOSE this person! That’s a really BIG DEAL!

Take some time to reflect on the qualities that made you choose your husband/wife. These are the foundations of your marriage and I bet they are still true!
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Now go share these qualities with him/her! Here’s a little script to get you started:
“When we first met, I fell in love with you because ________. I knew I wanted to marry you because _________. I really appreciate that you still ________. Thank you for __________.”

We are all looking for affirmation and confidence that we are ENOUGH and we are seen and valued. Practice giving that to your spouse, and chances are, you will receive it back in return.