Haters Gonna Hate

One thing that really brought my husband and I together even as naïve high school kids was our drive to succeed. We are both fiercely competitive in different ways, but always competing with ourselves to be better. We recognized this in one another even as teenagers and, for me, it was the most attractive thing. Ambition is so sexy! Get you a man with big dreams!

My high school flame had a 6-year professional baseball career. When that ended due to injury, he pursued a career in the fire service which was “impossible” because “everyone is trying to be a firefighter.” Harder than becoming a pro athlete? We’ll see.

I had two toddlers at home and worked 2 jobs when I decided to go after the highest degree in my field. My firefighter husband was never home. NO ONE thought the timing was right. Fortunately, I didn’t give a damn what they thought. I got that degree before my son finished preschool and picked up a 3rd job along the way. BOOM.

The term “haters” wasn’t really a thing back in Y2K, I think they were called “naysayers.” But fast forward 20 years – after all we have accomplished – and we still have people close to us saying:

  • Your dreams are not realistic
  • That will be too much for you
  • You can’t handle it
  • This is bad for your kids
  • Self-care is selfish
  •  Stick with safe, certain, and comfortable
  • Don’t challenge the status quo
  • You’re working/exercising too much
  • This is how we’ve always done it
  • Career = Self-worth
  • Don’t let them see you sweat
  • Following your dreams is irresponsible
  • Money = Success
  • You can’t afford to take risks
  • Do you think you’re better than me?

I. could. go. on. Have any of these statements been made to you? Did it come from someone who is supposed to have your back? Why is it that people want to chain you down to stay on their level? They believe your success diminishes theirs. They are SO threatened that you will outshine them as if there isn’t enough light out there to go ‘round?!

Listen up, dear ones. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT YOU CAN’T DO EVERYTHING. Give up on people pleasing. Quit listening to the critic. Sacrifice your comfort zone.  Don’t give up your ambition. Don’t quit on yourself. Don’t sacrifice your confidence so someone else can have theirs. The haters are gonna hate anyway.

MANIFEST

My husband and I had a quick getaway last week and the best part for me was the 7 hours of driving. We had uninterrupted conversations about our dreams and goals and where we want to see our careers go. Those conversations get us into alignment and give me LIFE!! We are always on the same page when it comes to wanting one another to thrive in every way possible, but it helps to actually hear what the other person desires. It gives you some perspective to support him/her in going after it! When was the last time you and your spouse got to do this? It had been a minute for us.

We talked about MANIFESTING (focusing on and attracting what you want in your life). Personally, the idea is a little too “new age” for me. In my opinion, no amount of meditation and “putting it out into the universe” has the same effect as laser focus and hustle!! Rather than trying to attract what I want, I prefer to take it by the balls with action! Still, you need to have a vision to make your plans successful. Maybe that is where the “manifesting” really comes into play.

After all, a goal without a plan is just a wish.

SELF CHALLENGE: What is your vision for YOUR future? If you don’t know, you better sit your ass down and think about it. If time and money were no option (spoiler alert: that’s NOT what’s holding you back), what does your dream job/hobby/startup company/non-profit look like? What skills do you have that are unique to you? What comes easy to you that you enjoy doing? THAT is purpose, and that is what you need to be chasing.

MARRIAGE CHALLENGE: Carve out some time to talk with your spouse about your vision and find out what his/her vision is. How can you support one another in getting there? This requires at least a date night, preferably a road trip!

If the word MANIFEST feels weird to you, try replacing it with VISION. Make yourself a road map for where you want to go and what you need to get there. Then take the first step.

#goals #hopes #dreams #purpose #manifest #hustle #vision #marriage #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #drive #passion #liveyourbestlife #growth #growthmindset #personaldevelopment #leadership #selfactualization #empowerment #girlboss #motherhood #parenting #mindfulness #selfawareness

✨SET YOUR INTENTION FOR 2019. ✨

Intentions are the fuel to manifesting your goals and visions for yourself in the new year. Without an intention there is no map, and you’re just driving down a road with no destination in mind. You can’t set an intention that you don’t believe or commit to.

Here are a few examples of intentions to consider this year:
* I intend to choose happiness every day.
* I intend to respond first, and then react.
* I intend to lead by example in all relationships.
* I intend to stop taking things personally.
* I intend to forgive others, and myself.
* I intend to love others unconditionally.
* I intend to guard my time and say “no” to commitments that do not bring me joy.
If you have another intention in mind that isn’t listed above, go for it! Just remember to keep these three important points in mind as you set your intention:

1. Keep it positive.
Your chosen intention should always be positive, uplifting, and always in the present tense. You want to refrain from using any negative words.

2. Make sure it can evolve.
Our minds are very clever… when something new comes along, the mind is intrigued. But as time passes, the mind gets bored! If you stick with the same intention week after week, your mind will stop responding to it. The best way to resolve this is to make sure your intention or goal can easily be adjusted.

3. Aim for the short term.
You can still think of the big picture — just divide your long-term intention into few shorter ones instead. After successfully manifesting your short-term intentions, you will ultimately reach the actual goal that you had been nurturing in the first place.

I’d love to hear what goals you are setting for the year! Get an accountability buddy and and share your goals for the new year! 🌈☀️2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣9️⃣